Tuesday, June 24, 2008


Okay, so I'm in SF again.
It was blistering for two days, and now it has been freezing for 2 days. I wonder if I could really live here.
I think I could.
Everyday I've been hanging out. I have a freelance job right now, designing prints for a swimwear company in socal, so I've been doing that. It's nice not having to go into an office; this is spoiling me. It'll also be exciting to see my work as an actual print and then on an actual bikini. Before I didn't really do any print design, so I'm excited to be making actual prints/artwork.
What else?
Leaving for Europe in less than two weeks. And Rea invited me to New Orleans in August. I've always wanted to go, so this will be really fun. This entry is boring. Okay I'm done.

Friday, June 20, 2008

A Food post

Cold noodle salad:

Step one: Chop up any raw vegetables you have. Here I used carrots, zucchini, radish, cilantro, tofu, but you could substitute with anything you like of course, like say chopped up chicken or bean sprouts or whatever.

Step two: Boil spaghetti noodles and rinse. Cool.

Step three: Making the sauce. I used melted peanut butter, soy sauce, I think I added a splash of coke to make it more saucey in consistency, honey, minced garlic. You could probably add in some sesame oil, sesame seeds, I don't know. This recipe is a free for all, isn't it? I don't know why I'm including directions.

Step four: Mix it all together. Next time around (if you happen to be using tofu as well) I would add in the tofu last so it doesn't turn into tofu mush like mine did. Garnish with red chili flakes (if you want.)

I'm pretty lenient on what you add and don't add. The point is, cooking is easy so just guess-timate and trust your instincts. Recipes can easily be adjusted things to your own tastes so have fun.
The End.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008


Also...I have a secret...yet to be revealed...!!!

Tuesday, June 17, 2008


I Love the color of ripe apricots. And the little freckles. I think that peachy pinky orange-y color is my favorite color.

Monday, June 16, 2008

It's monday.

Downtown LA. We went to Grand Central and Little Tokyo this weekend. We even took the metro so I could feel good about saving gas (and to pretend like I was still in SF a bit too). There were skateboarders filming and taking pictures on the streets. LA is beautiful. It'll always be home. I just need to get away for a bit, you know?
Yea so it's monday. But everyday feels like a weekend when you're unemployed. That's not necessarily a good thing. You lose track of the date, the day of the week. I'm feeling sort of useless.
After my trip to Europe I will probably be moving to San Francisco for a bit. I'm applying to schools, researching schools, looking for jobs, attempting to do freelance work, supposed to help my uncle out at the office, finishing resume, starting portfolio, moving out of the apartment...!
Okay, it's not that much, but for some reason I just feel overwhelmed. I wish it was a week ago.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Happy Father's Day

I spent most of the day working on my resume, which in it of itself is sort of a gift to my dad anyway.
He was gone since yesterday on a fishing trip with his friends and just got back. My brother is in the kitchen attempting to bake a cake. Peanut is sitting on the window ledge, staring out onto the front lawn. My mom is across the street at my aunt's house.
Hmm. And to think, I was really excited about things just a week ago. Now reality is setting in at home. I'm a bit scared. Things are changing so fast and I feel overwhelmed, when really there isn't that much going on that I shouldn't be able to handle. I guess I miss being on vacation or have grown accustomed to having no schedule at all. Now I feel a bit lost.
Soon I'll be in Europe...two more weeks. At first I was really looking forward to this trip, but now I feel a bit unsure for some reason. I haven't figured it out yet. It's only 10 days, but whenever I am getting ready to leave the country I get this weird separation anxiety. I can't explain it; I guess it's just being homesick. Even though we've always traveled I still haven't gotten used to the idea of leaving home behind. I think it's some psychological thing I do to myself. I worry a lot about things at home and people I can't talk to when I'm away and Peanut and what if this happens, what if that. I hate that feeling of not knowing at all what's happening here at home for days and days, and then having to face it all when I come home. Does that make sense? I don't know. Sometimes I convince myself I have a bad feeling when all I'm doing is thinking too much.
Also I'm worried because if this trip is like my last trip to Russia, then oh do I have a lot of mental preparation that needs to be done. I'm too old to be traveling with my parents for 10 days straight. It's not safe, mentally. Back in Russia it was the adults, me, no tv, no radio, no internet, no computer, no nothing, not even a book (I think I tried reading Walden Pond or something, hah.). I don't know what I was thinking. I was unprepared and suffered the mental consequences. Maybe I still am suffering, mentally, from that trip. Sigh. I hope this one is that much better. I will definitely be writing more and reading more; I'm promising myself.
He's stirring the cake batter with chopsticks, and theres a big bottle of vanilla next to him. My dad's cutting his fingernails in the living room. I just cut mine, sitting in that exact same spot, using the exact same trashcan to catch all the clippings.
It's a lazy sunday. Peanut's tail is sweeping against the window screen. He sees someone coming...

Friday, June 13, 2008

The backyard, continued,

I'm no good at this picture formatting thing. It took me 20 minutes just to get the titles for the pictures and they're still not even that right.

everything is ripening so quickly!



The backyard today


Passion Fruit

I'm at home.

Life update:
Yes, I've slowly begun moving my things home. How they will fit in my room, who knows. My parents haven't brought up the whole quitting-my-job thing at all, which is nice. But they don't know that I spent the past week and a half in SF, contemplating moving there, so that might open up another can of worms. I feel okay about it though, I just haven't found the right moment to bring it up.
I'm thinking about either going back to school or working. I'll apply for both and see what I decide on, I guess. I'm leaving for Europe July 6th, so job-wise my mom says I'll be doing receptionist work at my uncle's office since, well, he's my uncle and it'll be flexible.
It's so sunny and warm today. I took a lot of pictures. I haven't been home in a few weeks and already all the apricots are ripening, flowers blooming, etc etc.

I picked up my last CSA basket yesterday as well, which was sad, but I can always sign up for another wherever I happen to move. At least I'll have time to try out some new recipes. Also, this time there was cherries and grapes in the basket. The turnips and beets and carrots are more plump. Summer is here and I feel like I'm on summer vacation again...

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

I'm back

At my apartment in Laguna Hills. Bittersweet but it's okay.

I couldn't find the Tony Bennett version of this song; I picked up the LP off the sidewalk outside Goodwill on Valencia. Anyhow, the best is yet to come for all of us, eh?


Flying back tonight, finally. No more crying wolf. Yes I am actually coming back.
I have a lot of things to sort out. Things I ended down south, things I started up north. I have to say that I'm not scared. I feel like I'm getting closer to what I really want, and further away from something I never wanted but sort of just accepted because it fell into routine. I don't ever want to go back to that feeling again. I'm excited for what happens next.

Monday, June 09, 2008

Ok ok ok

Coming home tomorrow, finally. Tomorrow night.

Bear with my awful writing skills:
My parents called last night.
"Um, I don't think you should go to work tomorrow...I think you got fired," my mom said, reading the note that came with my last paycheck they mailed home.

"Oh...yea...they told me business wasn't doing so well, with the bad economy and, well yea..." I said, pretending to sound surprised, unconvincingly.

"Oh ok. Yea if they told you business wasn't doing well, then yea...ok at least since they fired you can apply for severance, do you know how to do that?" she said.

"Oh. Yea. Ok. Yea I know how to do that---
---Actually, no, wait, I can't...I, yea. I quit."

"Oh... Why didn't you tell us first?"

"I was losing my mind there mom! I just couldn't go back, I can't ever go back to that place and I'm never going back there and it's not a real job and I just can't go back--"

"Talk to your dad..."

"---Hi Daddy."

"You quit? Why didn't you tell us?"


"--Sigh. You just described how all entry level jobs are, Jasmine. That's the way it is in the beginning."

"Nooo, you don't understand that place. I can't go back ever."

"Why didn't you tell us first? You can't just quit. You have to have a next step planned out. You don't have a next step. You're moving home, right? Do you need help getting all your stuff? We can come help..."

"It's fine. Mostly just clothes."

"I have a friend in that industry, you want me to ask him?"

"Sure dad. That would be really great. I can show him my resume and portfolio if he asks. Yea. Dad I just needed some time off. That place sucked all the creativity out of me. In in the end I just sat there 8 hours a day staring at the computer doing nothing all day. I just couldn't do it anymore. I lost my mind. And I tried looking for other jobs too' I tried working on my resume and portfolio but it was so hard while working at the same time. I just need some time off to work on that and start applying for schools, you know?"

"When are you coming home?"

"I'll be back wednesday."



"Go Lakers?"

"Yea, I don't like it when they get cocky..."

"Yea, I thought towards the end that just maybe..."

"Yea...Ok...well I'll see you wednesday then. Bye daddy."

"Ok. Bye."

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Poem Store

So great:


See that blob of a tree? To the left of it, a little, the Golden Gate bridge.

Listening to

Escape from Alcatraz

It's strange to think that while I just woke up, some people are swimming the mile and a half for the Escape from Alcatraz triathlon. That the human body can contain such endurance and stamina has always amazed me.

The Accenture Escape from Alcatraz Triathlon includes a 1.5 mile swim from Alcatraz Island in the San Francisco Bay. The race continues with an 18 mile bike ride out the Great Highway, through the Golden Gate Park, and concludes with an 8 mile run through the Golden Gate National Recreation Area. The finish is at The Marina Green.

Saturday, June 07, 2008

Things aquired

since staying in SF.

1. pair of nail clippers
2. three spools of thread
3. embroidery needles
4. one pair red, one pair white, one pair blue underwear
5. three markers
6. 2 starfish

That's it for now.


Alive and well.

I guess I'll try and keep this updated, for those of you curious of my 'adventure' of sorts. I just took a shower, getting dressed, and I'm listening to some Abbey Road.
A funny story about San Francisco follows:

Play this while you read. That's what I'm listening to right now. Also there's someone snoring in the living room.

Two days ago I was taking a walk around the block. I'm staying in a pink apartment on 31st and Judah, near the Sunset area. There is a small asian community nearby, a liquor store, a kids gymnastics studio, etc. That's all sort of irrelevant to my story, but it gives you a sense of where I'm living right now. Anyhow, walking up 31st, across the street to the liquor store, taking some pictures of this and that on the sidewalk, I find a plastic bag with one of those Chinese red envelopes inside. I stop to take a picture and then I wonder to myself if maybe there was still money inside. I pick it up. I spot, well, a joint. Papers. A waft of something familiar and potent. Quick! Into the pocket! Potent. So potent I feel paranoid walking down the street with it, run home, into the apartment, open it up and see a full red envelope of well, you know.

Today's goals include some sewing projects, listening to records, getting a bathmat. Exciting, I know.
Who knew that working a 9-5 for almost 2 years could wipe me out like this. I know being a bum here in SF can't last forever, but just let me enjoy it while I can. I could get used to this, but probably shouldn't. Agh, who knows. Time will tell.

Friday, June 06, 2008


Today was...another beautiful day. Damn you San Francisco! It's working...!
Then again, compared to sitting at a desk, in a room with no windows, in Orange County---lots of things are much better than that, so I don't know. I may be disillusioned, but trying to enjoy it nevertheless.
We ran into an estate sale this afternoon. It was a gorgeous Victorian duplex in the Fillmore. This place was amazing---the light fixtures, even the wallpaper were so splendidly antique. We were playing around with the record player and ened up taking it home along with those giant vintage-y speakers, and then picked up some LP's at Amoeba. I never knew they'd be so cheap; you'd think things like old Beatles or Stones albums would be collectible or something, not in the dollar bin at a record store.
That crackly record noise never gets old; it somehow makes everything sound even better.
Eating thai take out with Led playing in the background... I might not ever come home...but...well...we shall see...

Thursday, June 05, 2008


That three day weekend I was taking...
I'm still here in San Francisco. My flight was monday evening, but I couldn't bring myself to get on that plane. We were at the airport and everything, but I couldn't leave. I quit my job (seriously.) and stayed and have been here since.
It's all been a wonderful dream.
I had a flight for tonight, but I canceled it. I have a flight for tomorrow night; who knows, I might cancel it. I just can't leave. Not yet.
The weather is just perfect and I can see the Golden Gate bridge from the window.
Not yet...