I'm at home.

Life update:
Yes, I've slowly begun moving my things home. How they will fit in my room, who knows. My parents haven't brought up the whole quitting-my-job thing at all, which is nice. But they don't know that I spent the past week and a half in SF, contemplating moving there, so that might open up another can of worms. I feel okay about it though, I just haven't found the right moment to bring it up.
I'm thinking about either going back to school or working. I'll apply for both and see what I decide on, I guess. I'm leaving for Europe July 6th, so job-wise my mom says I'll be doing receptionist work at my uncle's office since, well, he's my uncle and it'll be flexible.
It's so sunny and warm today. I took a lot of pictures. I haven't been home in a few weeks and already all the apricots are ripening, flowers blooming, etc etc.

I picked up my last CSA basket yesterday as well, which was sad, but I can always sign up for another wherever I happen to move. At least I'll have time to try out some new recipes. Also, this time there was cherries and grapes in the basket. The turnips and beets and carrots are more plump. Summer is here and I feel like I'm on summer vacation again...

SF

I'm back

At my apartment in Laguna Hills. Bittersweet but it's okay.



I couldn't find the Tony Bennett version of this song; I picked up the LP off the sidewalk outside Goodwill on Valencia. Anyhow, the best is yet to come for all of us, eh?

Tonight

Flying back tonight, finally. No more crying wolf. Yes I am actually coming back.
I have a lot of things to sort out. Things I ended down south, things I started up north. I have to say that I'm not scared. I feel like I'm getting closer to what I really want, and further away from something I never wanted but sort of just accepted because it fell into routine. I don't ever want to go back to that feeling again. I'm excited for what happens next.

Ok ok ok

Coming home tomorrow, finally. Tomorrow night.

Bear with my awful writing skills:
My parents called last night.
"Um, I don't think you should go to work tomorrow...I think you got fired," my mom said, reading the note that came with my last paycheck they mailed home.

"Oh...yea...they told me business wasn't doing so well, with the bad economy and, well yea..." I said, pretending to sound surprised, unconvincingly.

"Oh ok. Yea if they told you business wasn't doing well, then yea...ok at least since they fired you can apply for severance, do you know how to do that?" she said.

"Oh. Yea. Ok. Yea I know how to do that---
---Actually, no, wait, I can't...I, yea. I quit."

"Oh... Why didn't you tell us first?"

"I was losing my mind there mom! I just couldn't go back, I can't ever go back to that place and I'm never going back there and it's not a real job and I just can't go back--"

"Talk to your dad..."

"---Hi Daddy."

"You quit? Why didn't you tell us?"

"Because!!!IwaslosingmymindthereandIneverwanttogobackandit'snotareal
jobthebenefitsareawfulandImightjustgobacktoschoolandsoit'sgoingtobefine
andifIhavetofindanotherjobIthinkIcanreallyfastit'llbefinedaddyitsfine---"

"--Sigh. You just described how all entry level jobs are, Jasmine. That's the way it is in the beginning."

"Nooo, you don't understand that place. I can't go back ever."

"Why didn't you tell us first? You can't just quit. You have to have a next step planned out. You don't have a next step. You're moving home, right? Do you need help getting all your stuff? We can come help..."

"It's fine. Mostly just clothes."

"I have a friend in that industry, you want me to ask him?"

"Sure dad. That would be really great. I can show him my resume and portfolio if he asks. Yea. Dad I just needed some time off. That place sucked all the creativity out of me. In in the end I just sat there 8 hours a day staring at the computer doing nothing all day. I just couldn't do it anymore. I lost my mind. And I tried looking for other jobs too' I tried working on my resume and portfolio but it was so hard while working at the same time. I just need some time off to work on that and start applying for schools, you know?"

"When are you coming home?"

"I'll be back wednesday."

"Ok."

"Ok."

"Go Lakers?"

"Yea, I don't like it when they get cocky..."

"Yea, I thought towards the end that just maybe..."

"Yea...Ok...well I'll see you wednesday then. Bye daddy."

"Ok. Bye."

Poem Store

So great:

Today

See that blob of a tree? To the left of it, a little, the Golden Gate bridge.


Listening to

Escape from Alcatraz

It's strange to think that while I just woke up, some people are swimming the mile and a half for the Escape from Alcatraz triathlon. That the human body can contain such endurance and stamina has always amazed me.



The Accenture Escape from Alcatraz Triathlon includes a 1.5 mile swim from Alcatraz Island in the San Francisco Bay. The race continues with an 18 mile bike ride out the Great Highway, through the Golden Gate Park, and concludes with an 8 mile run through the Golden Gate National Recreation Area. The finish is at The Marina Green.

Things aquired

since staying in SF.

1. pair of nail clippers
2. three spools of thread
3. embroidery needles
4. one pair red, one pair white, one pair blue underwear
5. three markers
6. 2 starfish


That's it for now.

Saturday

Alive and well.

I guess I'll try and keep this updated, for those of you curious of my 'adventure' of sorts. I just took a shower, getting dressed, and I'm listening to some Abbey Road.
A funny story about San Francisco follows:

Play this while you read. That's what I'm listening to right now. Also there's someone snoring in the living room.


Two days ago I was taking a walk around the block. I'm staying in a pink apartment on 31st and Judah, near the Sunset area. There is a small asian community nearby, a liquor store, a kids gymnastics studio, etc. That's all sort of irrelevant to my story, but it gives you a sense of where I'm living right now. Anyhow, walking up 31st, across the street to the liquor store, taking some pictures of this and that on the sidewalk, I find a plastic bag with one of those Chinese red envelopes inside. I stop to take a picture and then I wonder to myself if maybe there was still money inside. I pick it up. I spot, well, a joint. Papers. A waft of something familiar and potent. Quick! Into the pocket! Potent. So potent I feel paranoid walking down the street with it, run home, into the apartment, open it up and see a full red envelope of well, you know.

Today's goals include some sewing projects, listening to records, getting a bathmat. Exciting, I know.
Who knew that working a 9-5 for almost 2 years could wipe me out like this. I know being a bum here in SF can't last forever, but just let me enjoy it while I can. I could get used to this, but probably shouldn't. Agh, who knows. Time will tell.